One of my all time favorite books to read to the kids when they were little – if not my favorite – was Jamie Lee Curtis’ “Today I Feel Silly”. I loved it because it was silly. The rhymes were fun. (Today I am sad, my mood’s heavy and gray. There’s a frown on my face and it’s been there all day. My best friend and I had a really big fight.She said that I tattled and I know that she’s right. . . Today my mood’s bad, I feel grumpy and mean. I picked up my room. It still isn’t clean. . . Today I am angry, you’d better stay clear. My face is all pinched and red ear to ear.) The illustrations were fabulous. And it taught the kids something, while entertaining them so that they didn’t actually realize they were learning something. What this book taught my kids was that everyone experiences emotions/moods – ranging from silliness to anger to sadness – and that it’s normal and ok to experience those moods.
So as today – Day #3 of no running, no aerobic activity and of pain in my left leg – comes to a close and I am filled with a range of emotions, I remind myself that it is normal. I am filled with anger and sadness and frustration and jealousy (of my friends who are out running and biking and even walking and just being able to bound up the stairs, which I can’t do) and anxiety (for my appointment tomorrow). And what’s funny – but not – is that for the past decade when these sorts of feelings would well up inside me, all I needed to do was lace up my shoes and run and I would instantly feel better. And right now I am feeling really really lost because I don’t have a way to deal with these feelings and moods. Fuck. (Sorry mom).