A Case of the “What Ifs”

2012-04-12 17.31.13

True Confession:  Since 2:50 p.m. Monday the “What Ifs” have been haunting me.

What if I had run just 13 minutes slower, putting me at the finish line when the bombs went off?  What if I had actually seen my mom at mile 16, instead of missing her completely.  Would I have stopped to take photos and chat for long enough that it would have impacted my finish time and put me in harm’s way?  What if I hadn’t seen my parents just after crossing the finish line, so they would have kept walking to find me (putting them on Boylston right between bombs #1 and #2)?  What if Scott had decided to keep watching the race after I crossed, instead of going directly to the family meet up area (He was standing on Boylston at mile 26, directly across from where bomb #2 went off. I had told him it would take me a good 30 minutes to get through the finishers chute and to the meet up area)?

I am not a pessimistic person.  I know it doesn’t do any good to dwell on the What Ifs, because they didn’t happen.  And I haven’t been sitting here dwelling on them in a bad, foreboding way.  To the contrary, as I’ve been thinking about these What Ifs, I’ve been thinking how lucky I am.  And they have been making me that much more thankful for all that I have – for having people in my life that love me, for loving people, for the air I’m able to breathe and for the steps I’m able to take.

I am really, truly so thankful and appreciative for all that is mine.

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4 Responses to A Case of the “What Ifs”

  1. Teri Byrne says:

    I believe in guardian angels, kismet, destiny and things happening for a reason. It wasn’t your time. I don’t believe in coincidences. We arrive where we are supposed to be; and it may be God’s plan.

  2. Tom says:

    I think going forward ,what is important to me is to see you again qualify for the Boston Marathon in the coming years. It’s important so the four of us can go back and show the terrorists that they can’t control where we go,what we do,and how we live our lives.
    Love Dad

  3. I am plagued by many of the same thoughts. It’s been a weird week.

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