Today I feel . . .

Thanks to all for the positive comments regarding Grandma’s.

Here is how I am feeling today:

  • I am sore (worse than all previous marathons except the first one).  I am popping advil every couple of hours and it’s not helping.
  • I am depressed.
  • I am mad that I’m too sore to run (and probably injured, I can’t tell because the IT band thing doesn’t usually hurt unless running, which I’m not ready to try.  It does feel tender to touch, as does my right quad/groin area).
  • I am really really mad at the BAA for their new stupid BQ registration process.  It makes me so mad that I have technically qualified (by 19 seconds, 78 seconds if you count the extra 59 that is still in effect this year), but that I have absolutely zero possibility of actually getting in.  And it doesn’t seem like things will ever align for me to get a fast enough time to get in.
  • And I feel like a big fat pig because I just ate another one of the brownies the size of my head, thinking it would cheer me up, and all it did was make me mad because I can’t run it off.

Let’s hope things look better tomorrow.

8 thoughts on “Today I feel . . .

  1. Please have some faith about the registration process! I agree, the BAA is just wrong for implementing a ridiculously unfair registration process. I’m working my a$$ off just to get a 3:45 and we’ll be in the same boat. I have to have some faith or I wouldn’t have any motivation to train as hard as I am. I look at it this way: step 1 (BQing) is mostly in my hands and step 2: registration is out of my hands so I just hope for the best!!!

    1. Well, that’s certainly a bleak outlook. There’s no way I can run a 3:40 to get in the T-5 slot. I’m not even going to try for it. I’m training for a 3:45 and I’m hoping that’s what I do. I may just have to be happy being a Boston Qualifier and (not yet) Boston Marathoner.

      1. Yes, it is bleak. It will be interesting to see how it pans out. Maybe next year, when they drop the qualifying times by 5 minutes, people who BQ with less than 5 minutes to spare will actually have a chance of getting in. Hard to say. For me it’s depressing because it’s not just about saying I got a BQ, it’s about going to and running Boston. And if my time won’t actually get me there, then the BQ itself isn’t as exciting. For some people, you included, it sounds like its the BQ itself that is a big deal. You are trained for it and super close and I’m sure you will achieve your goal!

  2. I fully understand the post marathon depression all to well even after achieving my goal this year at Stillwater. For the past couple weeks I have been in a funk with little desire to run but found myself doing it out of habit and knowing that I have 50k July 2nd. Toward the end of last week I started to climb out of this funk after trying a variety of things from new paces (fast and slow), new running times, courses and I even went out and bought a whole new brand of shoe.

    I think these things and just time away from the Marathon swimming in my head had made all the difference. This past weekend I ran the trails in the rain and enjoyed every second of it and on Sunday ran a 5k with my daughter. These two things helped refocus me on what is important and why I run.

    I also understand your frustration with the BAA BQ structure but I also understand why they have to do it. That said if Boston is a goal the criteria are out there for all to aim for and will most likely make it that much more rewarding when your dream comes true.

    If you still feel the odds are stacked against you for Boston consider the chances for a first timer getting in Western Sates 100 is about a 10%. One of my personal goals.

    And consider Brownies your reward for all your hard training.

    1. I’ve experienced post-marathon blues after every single marathon, but this time it’s worse. For me I like the training so much that it is a big let down to have the training be over and not be immediately able to train for something else. I know, though, that my body needs a physical and mental break after each marathon, so I force myself to take a break.

      The things that you have done – trail running and the 5k with your daughter – ARE what it’s about. Good for you for getting back to the basics.

      I have never looked at ultra stuff, so I didn’t realize the chances of getting in Western States are so slim. Yikes! That is discouraging.

  3. Lora

    Your other posters may hate what I’m going to say, but I’m saying it anyway:
    It all sucks.
    It sucks that some weird (injury?) thing messed up your race
    It sucks that you’re beat up — a reminder of a race that you aren’t happy with
    It sucks that the lingering feeling from this race is one of disappointment and frustration
    It sucks that months/years from now are too far away to appreciate that by then you won’t be feeling so pissed about this, one, 26.2

    It sucks that the Boston Marathon, when some of us were feeling soooooo close to getting there, has now become an even tougher feat. It feels like one of those toys on a string that you tease cats with…

    It sucks that brownies and ice cream and beer and cookies are so filled with fat and calories and mental bad stuff — because it’s times like this that those things make us feel (momentarily) good.

    So, yeah, it all sucks.

    But you know (or at least I do, since I’ve been here) that it’ll all suck less a week from now. Or a month from now. The suck won’t last forever — it just feels like that right now. Be pissed, be frustrated. Allow yourself that. And then lace up those shoes and go after it again. Cause that’s what we do.

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